Cutty used to say, “That mouth of yours is gonna get you shot someday!” I’m surprised yesterday wasn’t the day.
Less than twenty feet into the grocery store I heard a man yelling from the produce section. I scurried over behind the pickles to listen. Growing up in a house full of drunks I learned to stand in the hall and ‘read the room’ before deciding whether to enter or go the other direction.
After a minute though I could tell the conversation wasn’t angry. It was just loud. Extremely loud. Unnecessarily ear splitting loud. Perhaps the guy was drunk or hearing impaired but not likely dangerous.
I felt safe enough to leave my bread & butter pickle foxhole and move on. I’ve shopped at Ross. I would utilize the same skills I use to drown out crying babies I’m convinced they have on staff there. Everything would be fine.
But it wasn’t fine. I spied Mr. Loud 50 feet away and assessed. He was wearing headphone cans. Not earbuds. Cans. And he was using the speaker function on his phone with his arm outstretched instead of up near his mouth. Loudly. I don’t know who he was talking to nor did I care. It was just frustratingly loud.
I went through every ‘quieting the monkey mind’ exercise I knew including making up show tunes but nothing was drowning him out. I watched the two people shopping with him ask him to get off his phone. I could tell by their gestures they were telling him he was too loud. I watched him respond to them in a normal voice level then resume his loud conversation on the phone.
I wished I’d not witnessed that because now I had to discard the only two possibilities of forgiveness I’d mustered up for Mr. Loud. Initially I’d deduced he was mentally challenged and after seeing the headphones I decided he was hearing impaired, maybe even both. But both of those excuses fell through after watching that interaction. I had to accept he was just rude.
Side note. If you’ve seen the meme I posted last night about overshopping the produce, this is the reason why. My recent rule of ‘only one or two fresh items at a time to reduce spoilage’ rolled right under the shopping cart. I was a woman on a mission selecting produce while trying to block out the noise.
“That’s okay, Bella. You’re not the manners police. Put it out of your mind. Oh, look, bell peppers.” I kept this dialogue going in my head trying to block him out. I would take the high road, shop, and go on about my day.
I never made it to the high road. I tried. But I lost it. Big time.
“You HAVE to STOP!” I called out from across the produce section. “You are too loud! I can’t think! You have to stop!”
I’m not sure which of us held the most shocked expression on our face, me or him. Of course there were other shoppers who turned to stare at me too. I was embarrassed and trying to regroup as my words echoed in my mind. I immediately apologized.
“I’m sorry, that was rude of me. I can’t concentrate with you yelling like that but I shouldn’t have yelled back. I’m very, very sorry. Really sorry. So Sorry!”
I looked at the people shopping with him expecting them to fly over the lemons and beat me senseless with melons. I don’t think they were related but when you’re with your posse and someone gets called out, you step up and defend. That’s the rules of friendship.
Would this be the day I die? Right there in front of the avocados?
Instead they said, “Thank you! We tried to tell him!” I repeated my apology again. They thanked me again. Mr. Loud ended his phone conversation and they scooted away from the produce section.
I’ll admit, I was a bit rattled and nervous with each turn onto a new aisle. I’m not without a temper but I don’t release it like that on strangers. Cutty was referring to others lacking appreciation for my sarcasm, not out and out yelling.
Maybe it was because I’m trying not to eat my emotions these days they are manifesting in more outward expressions?
I replayed the incident over and over in my head wondering if I had truly yelled at a mentally challenged hearing impaired man right there next to the tomatoes. And if that is the case, I am very ashamed. I’m not proud of losing my composure in public, period, but even less so if it wasn’t on an equal playing field. This is a small town. I’ll definitely shop elsewhere or resume getting my groceries delivered for a while.
Next up on my Amazon shopping adventure will be my own headphones. I can’t be yelling at strangers like that; I have to save something for my family.
All in a day.
Bells
