Friday Friday Friday! Normally I'm not that excited about Friday as either my store is open or I do trade shows on Saturday but I'm closed tomorrow to go to shopping, lunch and the theater and the sun is shining and all in all ... it's a good start to the day.
My day today also started with NOT weighing for the first time in nearly six months. The scale is still sitting on a chair in the laundry room and I even tossed a towel over it (folded of course, I do still have OCD) so it wouldn't grab my attention. I'll admit, despite an eerie calmness and feeling of emancipation I was tempted to grab it about 2am this morning (during a nature call). But that same 'Yes, you can do it' voice spoke up. This time she just said 'Stop it!'.
Reflecting on the comments yesterday and briefly second guessing my decision, I finally arrived at this conclusion. Unlike the 'love affair' Evelyn referenced, I realized I'd made the scale my 'boss.'
Why not? I've been working since I was in single digits so I've had more and longer relationships with a 'boss' than anything else. And despite many faults resulting in my marital, parental and social relationships bordering on Virginia Wolfe, Mommie Dearest and the UniBomber, I've always been 'an excellent employee able to work well without supervision.' At least, that's what boss after boss wrote on my reviews.
In this situation, my scale had become one of those psycho bosses ... I'm sure you've all had one. You know, the unpredictable boss who no matter HOW well you're doing YOUR job is always beating YOU up or at most mildly ambivalent to YOU because those pencial pushing geeks over in finance cut their budget somewhere else?
Well, that was the scale. And it was time for the boss to give me some autonomy.
I still have my excellent team (all of you here at FS) in place, my good tools (the food diary, the articles, the inspirations, the sharing) and a little bit of sanity.
To quote C.S. Lewis: “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.”
I know, despite integrity and a solid work ethic, some of us (including me) have been sacked or attacked without cause, warning or justification. I have to believe if I continue to make healthy choices and record my food diary with honesty the scale and jeans will continue to cooperate.
If not, well, I'll be calling a team meeting :-)
Bella
PS - as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. For once, I don't think I had that many in today's journal so here are some fillers.
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